Close-Five Minute Friday Writing

I'm posting for the first time over at LisaJo Bakers Five Minute Friday.

Close

He is not close anymore. The boy who laughed his way through childhood with a spirit that could only be described as joy. The boy who couldn't say his r's. The boy who grew too slowly for him but to quickly for me into manhood. The boy who grew into an healthy reminder of my father in his younger years can still bring me to tears. Tears I don't let him see. The boy who searches for his place in the world and too quickly rushes through high school longing for it to be over. I tell him, "Don't rush into adulthood, you have a whole lifetime to be an adult!"

The boy who has musical talent like his father and still amazes me on the piano and drums. His desires to enter the world on his own outweighs his desire to keep a clean room or spend time with us. Intentionally I tell myself this is normal. For those moments of closeness come and go as quickly as the rushing of a summer sea breeze. But do they really? I think the closeness of my toddler boy who climbed into my lap oh so long ago still has a close hold on my heart as he transitions into adulthood. It will never leave. It will never fade. Much like our Heavenly Fathers love for us.

I still see glimmers of close in the wink of his smile. My heart leaps for a moment then reality reminds me that he will one day leave. I know this is normal. The longing for my child to stay close is heavy. The feelings are very real, almost choking. The questions swirl in my head, "Have we given him the tools to be successful?", "Will he make good choices?", "Will he follow God with all his heart?" The Bible tell us that we are to train up these children so they can go into the world and make a difference for the kingdom. The go part is hard. The transition is hard. But it is worth it. I place my trust back into the arms of my Savior who created this amazing boy. He gave me the great privilege of being his mom. Close is where my heart wants to be but must be satisfied with seeing my son grow into the man God has created him to be!

Thanks for stopping by!

Day 21 - How 2Build a Strong Marriage for You and Your Kids

Marriage. I've often said that marriage isn't spelled the way you think, it's actually spelled w-o-r-k! I've been at this marriage thing almost 18 years. I can't say we know all there is to know, but we have come pretty far considering this was marriage #2 for both of us. I don't like to admit that to too many people, so consider yourself special!

I happen to ask my teenage son the other day how many kids he knew whose parents were divorced. He said, "I know lots of kids mom, more have divorced parents than not." Whoa! That just hit me like a ton of bricks. My children are floating around other kids who have a distorted view of marriage, to say the least. These children are toted back and forth, forced to choose holidays through a pick and choose relationship with their parents, if they are engaged at all, that had nothing to do with them. No wonder second marriages are on the decrease because many people are just choosing to just cohabit-ate rather than attempt another marriage.

The average divorce rate right now in the U.S. is between 40-50%, however for second marriages the rate jumps to 60-70% and for third marriages a whopping 70-73%. Did I ever tell you that I didn't like my statistics class one bit? How can we reverse this trend and see young men and women growing into healthy, spiritual beings with a desire to have long-lasting and healthy marriages?

I choose to believe that there is something that we all can do to build strong marriage. We can build long lasting, healthy, God-centered marriages that set a the example for our tweens and teens. It won't happen overnight, but consistency is key. Whether or not you are married or raising your kids as a single parent/co-parenting, whatever it looks like, YOU have the ability to help teach your children God's view of marriage.

God created marriage! I think He is the best source for teaching our children about it.

Five Tips to Building Strong Marriages

1. Make God the center of your life. Whether you are married or not, both of you in the relationship must be committed Christ-followers. I know what you're thinking, if you are in an unequally yoked marriage, you are still responsible for yourself and your spiritual walk and for still following God's rules for marriage. Working on yourself is the best way to ensure a healthy relationship. The better your vertical relationship with the Lord the better all of your other relationship will be.

2. Meet Daily Eyeball to Eyeball - In this world of running to and fro, practices and lessons, homework and dinner, and also work/ministry find time for both of you to do a daily download. The funny thing is I remember a time when my husband and I had to lock ourselves in the bathroom for 15 minutes just to give each other some uninterrupted attention. Do what works for you, but find that TIME to connect, eyeball to eyeball no matter what. Use this time to update each other on family specifics, give each other edifying words and find one thing to be thankful for.

3. Regular Date Time/Night/Day/Lunch - Whatever works in your life, just DO IT! Make time to spend with each other. Just as we must spend time with our Savior for leadership and guidance regularly in order for us to Hear His voice we must put that same effort behind our marriages. Make your spouse a priority, not THE ONLY priority. There is a fine line here people, anything we place above God is not doing anyone any good. But you must, you have too, you will thanks me years from now when you can look over at your spouse and your heart still beats a little faster when you catch each others glance! Oh how GOD desire HIS best for our marriages.

If you are struggling in this area to truly connect, start with a couples bible study. Start making out a list of fun things to do and start crossing off the list. I'm not talking extravagant or expensive either. Some of my favorite times are just spent together with a book, a blanket and the beach. We read to each other and talk about it.

4. Serve One Another - Christ came to serve, not to be served. So, if we want to be more Christ-like in our own lives this means to serve our spouse too! It may seem like an easy thing to do, but so many people get bogged down in this area. I fall in love with my husband all over again when he picks up the slack in the kitchen by putting the dishes away, once in a while. I don't expect him to do it, we both feel we are partners in this whole life thing and want to show each other how much we care. Also, say THANK YOU! Yes, even to your spouse. Ask nicely when you need their help! I know, I know it seems like a given right? But, let's set the example for our children on how to serve one another!

I remember when I was pregnant, my hubby wanted to make sure his boys saw how he treated me, for example, opening doors, carrying the groceries, making sure he was helpful in all areas, because he wanted to make sure that these young men would learn how to be Godly husbands for their own wives. Oh, how I love this man of mine!

5. Be Humble and Say Sorry - I put these together because they kinda go hand in hand. Be ready to humble yourself before your spouse and say these words, "I'm sorry!" Oooops! Did I really just say that? I have had to really work on this one. Early on in our marriage, our arguments were more about how we argued than what we argued about. I was always ready with my retaliation rocks to pummel him with but he was always ready with an apology. Sometimes, I admit I just wanted to be mad, to be mad!

It has only been by the Grace of God and my humble obedience to want to be changed that I have learned the true definition of submission. I am so much better at saying I'm sorry and we don't even argue any more. I now understand how to be my husbands helpmate, to lift him up, to support him and to love him from the depths of my heart.

I don't know where your marriage is today, I don't know if your's just ended, and now you're a single parent. What I do know is that I serve a God who is bigger than our circumstances. He wants us to live our best life and be the best parents we can be. This only comes from everyday obedience, sacrifices, and lots of hard work. But I'm willing to go the distance, and fight the good fight if it means that my children will see a Godly marriage, with a mom and dad who want to follow Christ with all their hearts. I want them to see a mom and dad who will pray for them, and point them to Jesus at all times. I want them to grow into amazing Godly men and women so that they can change the tide of marriages in our world. I want them to teach their children to have long-lasting, healthy, and Godly marriages! How about you??


I'm excited to share with you, unless you already know about a great program Focus on the Family is launching to help families. Find out more HERE.


Thanks for hanging out with me along this 31 Day Journey, even though it's been sporadic, I'm pushing on toward the goal! I'd love to hear how you invest in your marriage and how you make it work!

Blessings!
Sherry

Day 14 - Standing Firm

Have you ever tried to discipline your child and they couldn't keep a serious face? My middle son has been this way his whole life. He has been a child that didn't need harsh punishment because a stern word and the efforts of the 1, 2, 3, spank rule was all that was needed. Even when he was getting in trouble, more often than not he couldn't keep a straight face. I don't necessarily believe he was doing this intentionally, but his sweet body, just couldn't help it. What about when your child does something cute, but yet its not good behavior, or let's just say not the kind they should be exhibiting on a regular basis. We've all been there as parents. It's logical when they are younger to instill a healthy fear of consequences for inappropriate behavior. Most of the time this behavior is more social; for instance, bad manners, reacting poorly to a situation, or having an attitude when told no. As your child becomes an adolescent, all of a sudden the rules of the game change. How are we to handle our tween and teenagers poor behavior or decision making? Especially now, when they have thoughts all their own and aren't afraid to tell you all about them!

As Christ-follower we are being constantly being molded. The rough edges of our old self are being chipped away to make room for a more holy being. In the same way, we have been given a great privilege to mold and chip at our children, in order for them to realize the call on their life. We can't waiver in our calling as parents. If you struggle with implementing rules and consequences I want to encourage you from God's word.



Here are some areas we need to stand firm:

1. Social Media: Too often this is a place our children can get into EASY TROUBLE! If you put your head in the sand and say, "They're going to do it anyway!" I urge you to take a look at some startling stats:

This is a link that our church Calvary Chapel put together a few months back. Click HERE to see links to how you can protect your internet and stats on social media.

This link is to Josh McDowell ministry Just1Clickaway.org

Know the passwords to your tween or teens accounts, and make it a priority to check their phone, computer, and rooms regularly. Yep, you guessed it, there is no privacy when you live in my house. I hope that this mindset sticks with my children and they become proactive parents too! You are your child's best advocate!

2. Television: Stay alert and on guard. Not only for our children's sake but for ours too! I can easily catch myself watching a not-so-great program and get sucked into its storyline. Our world lets demons, zombies and a crazy amount of ungodly images, sitcoms, movies and reality shows into our homes everyday; and we allow it. These images are not healthy for our tweens and teens. Take a stand and demand better standards in your home and communicate them to your children. Pay attention to what they are watching, keep television out of their rooms. I know some parents who declared the entrance to each of their kids bedrooms as technology-free zones! I like it!!

Here are some places where you can find reviews on movies, t.v. and everything in between:

Plugged In
Plugged In is a Focus on the Family publication designed to shine a light on the world of popular entertainment while giving families the essential tools they need to understand, navigate and impact the culture in which they live. Through our reviews, articles and discussions, we hope to spark intellectual thought, spiritual growth and a desire to follow the command of Colossians 2:8: "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ."

Each month, Plugged In is visited more than 1 million times by people looking for detailed information about what's really in popular movies, videos, TV episodes, songs and games. Entertainment industry ratings only tell you so much. We go deeper, diving into specific content and the meaning behind it. Our award-winning website also offers news (Culture Clips), polls, blogs, podcasts and hands-on parenting tools (Family Room).



3. Stay ENGAGED with your tween and teen and TALK about ALL these things! Do not let the world get to them first. We need to show them God's perspective on these subjects and how to protect themselves. Parents, we must give them the tools and pray for God to pour the Holy Spirit into them so that they may have the strength to STAND FIRM!


Parents, WE WILL NOT BE MOVED! I'm praying for each of you as you are traveling this journey. Partner up with other Godly parents and seek wise counsel in all things. Stay encouraged on this 31 Day Journey of Parenting Tweens & Teens!

Day 12 - Creating Margin

Today we are talking about margin! Not the space around that 8x11 piece of paper but creating margin in your life and your tween and teen. What does this look like? How can we do this? I often think that the one good thing I'm passing onto my children is how to be busy. I mean I've probably been the best example of being busy. Parents, we need to create margin in our lives in order to achieve balance. When our tanks are running on reserve we don't have any left over to parent successfully or be generous to others. You can't live your best life in the negative.

I share how my son and I had an opportunity to create margin and make some tough choices about his schedule. There will be times when you will have to say no to even really good opportunities. Fear not parents! God is right beside us guiding us. In addition to the scripture shared in this video, here are some others to encourage you today on your parenting journey!

Matthew 6:34
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Proverbs 11:1 The Lord abhors dishonest scales, but an accurate weight is his delight.

Isaiah 40:12
Who else has held the oceans in his hand? Who has measured off the heavens with his fingers?
Who else knows the weight of the earth or has weighed the mountains and hills on a scale?

Genesis 2:2-3
And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.


Creating margin






Be Blessed sweet friends as you continue to Parent you Tween and Teen!

Sherry

Day 11 - Creating an Appetite for Discipline

I'm inspired today as I am reading through the book of Deuteronomy. It seems when I'm diving into God's word about parenting, I'm brought right back to this book in the Bible. You might be thinking, "How can a book in the Old Testament really help me today in my parenting journey?" Well, friend it is a book that Jesus quotes many times. This book of final words written by Moses to the Israelite people gives us great insight about parenting and some practical applications as well. If its good enough for Jesus, then its worth checking out!

Moses spoke often of obedience. What kind of obedience? Well, obedience with our heart, our will, our mind, our body, our finances and our future. Doesn't this sound like a playbook for parenting? We are ultimately training up our children to walk in obedience to Christ in all these areas. Its about creating discipline in all these areas!

Deuteronomy 8:3, "He did all of this to teach you that people need more than bread for their life; real life comes by feeding on every word of the Lord." Are you creating an appetite for discipline in your children or do they crave rebellion and utter freedom from any kind of rules? Do they obey you on the first try or do they test you over and over again? Think about the following.

My commentary breaks it down like this:
If we are truly obedient then we must do it with:
Our Hearts - Loving Him more than any relationship, activity, achievement, or possession.
Our Will - By committing ourselves completely to him.
Our Mind - By seeking to know him and his Word; so that it may form the foundation of all we think and do.
Our Body - By recognizing that our strengths, talents, and sexuality are all given to us by God to be used for pleasure and fulfillment according to his rules, not ours.
Our Finances - By deciding that all of our resources we have ultimately come from God, and that we are to be managers of them and not owners.
Our Future - By deciding to make service to God and man the main purpose of our life's work.

Now, I'm going to challenge you. How to you measure up to these? As a parent we do want to instill in our children a love for God's word and his commandments. Teaching obedience begins from a very young age. It is much easier to handle a young child's disobedience than to deal with a teenagers rebellion. Its a tough job, but I know that you are up to the challenge.

God's word is so clear. In Chapter 11, Moses writes about the blessing of obedience. When I think about teaching my children obedience, In the midst of the struggle I remind myself of the end goal. Ultimately when we obey all the commands, and if you Love the Lord with all your heart and soul and if you worship him, he will send the rains in their proper seasons so you can harvest crops of grain, grapes for wine, and olives for oil. (v13)One day, we shall see the harvest in our children. Obedience is nothing more than self-discipline! We have to have cultivate this in our children!

How do we create an appetite for discipline in our children? Here's my top 5.
1. Be the parent - stay engaged at ALL TIMES! This is not the time for a substitution or for sitting the bench, stay in the game.
2. Be praying - Pray constantly for your children and let them know you are praying. I always communicate this to my children
3. Be obedient - The best example for our children is Jesus, closely followed by you, THE PARENT! Practice being obedient in your own life. Own up to your kids when you fail. Let them see JESUS working IN YOU!
4. Be encouraging - It can be easy to focus on the negatives of parenting, and your child's failure. But each day find something to compliment them on. Never let them leave the house without an edifying word (even if your upset with them). I'll often say, "God has a calling on your life...don't miss it! or Look for Jesus as you go through your day today!"
5. Be humble - Show up for parenting each day with a new attitude! Don't give in to the world's definition of terrible teens. It is easy to want to be right as a parent, remember when we humble ourselves to Christ and our children, it is a great way to learn wisdom!

I hope you've enjoyed today's post! God is always working on this momma's heart! I hope your inspired, encouraged and reminded of the top 5 ways you can give your children an appetite for discipline!

Blessings!
Sherry

Day 10 Tips for Dealing with a Picky Eater

You might think I'm talking about a toddler. But I'm actually talking about your teenager! Click on the youtube video below and see my helpful tips for dealing with your picky eater. This is my first video blog or vlog as they call it in the blogging world. Love to hear what you think!





Be blessed sweet friends and continue to check back for more 31 Day Journey of Parenting Tweens & Teens!

Sherry

Getting a Glimpse

I interrupt my 31 Day blogging to bring you a great post by a fellow blogger I've followed for several years. Her 31 Day journey is about being a Mentoring Mom. Today, I totally felt her post! I felt I was being mentored and totally needed to hear this. I just had to share it as my 31 Day Journey of Tweens & Teens is moving right along! Plus, it was right on topic!

This post reminded me that I do want to be FRONT AND CENTER for my son as he moves into manhood. I'm not giving up or giving in and am grateful to watch his heart follow Jesus and become the future makings of a great husband, provider, and father one day. To get a glimpse of his heart along the journey is such a privilege that I won't soon forget! Even the hard days, the wrong choices, and the mistakes all give me a glimpse in how God is shaping and molding him to become a strong and mighty force for the kingdom!


Whether you have a teen right now or just young boys, I hope you pop over to this post and read. It is a great reminder that we are all on a journey! We've been given such an amazing task as a mother! Don't give up, and be the mom they need!


Balancing Beauty and Bedlam Terrible Teens, I beg to differ.

Oh sweet friends, it truly doesn't have to be the terrible teens! God offers us so much more than terrible! Seeking His leading during these transition years is so important. God truly has given you everything you need to fulfill this parenting role. Just trust in His guidance and keep pursuing His wisdom!

Blessings!
Sherry

Continue to follow all the 31 Day post HERE! and at The Nester.

Meet Some 31 Day-ers On the Journey

I'm participating in a great 31 Day's worth of blogging with some amazing peeps and with some at The Nester.


I thought I would share a link up here to some of the amazing ladies who are on this 31 Day journey with me. Not only are these some amazing people, but they have some great material to share as seen through a Biblical perspective!

Feel free to visit often and comment!

Chick Chat



Curly Girl Meets Grace


Coffee At Lulu's



InspirReD LiVing


Morley to Love


Enjoy and check back often for more 31 Days of Parenting Tweens & Teens!

Day 4 - A Tween Girl and a Momma's Heart

I can always remember always wanting to have a daughter. I was blessed with a bonus son when I met the love of my life CR. I became pregnant shortly after we were married and was blessed with another son. Oh the joys of having two boys! It's great, but in the back of my mind I still wanted a daughter. It was several years later, after a life lived overseas with my military husband before we decided to try again. I remember when we found out I was expecting, a little whisper of hope grew inside my heart and I dared to think it might be a girl. I was prepared to hear the words, "It's a boy!" from the doctor at the ultrasound visit. The visit that CR and I fought the entire way down to the office. I seriously thought he was ruining this moment for me. This would probably be the last child for us. As I lay on the table, waiting as the cold gel rubbed against my skin, both CR and I peering into the ultra-sound screen as if we knew what we were looking at, laid aside our argument and waited for the answer. Is it a boy or girl? It's a GIRL she said. Oh how my heart leaped at that very moment and I think a tear fell from my eye. I was so happy!

Fast forward and now that sweet, tiny girl who came into the world weighing exactly 8lbs is now almost taller than me. She wants to wear my shoes with heels (because her shoe size is the same as mine)and play dress-up and put makeup on. This is way too much for me to handle. She is a tween. That age when a girl becomes a young woman but not yet a teenager by definition. The age when hormones and body changes all happen at once and you almost forget that you actually gave birth to this unknown person looking back with you with her head tilted to the side and her hand placed firmly on her hip. It totally sneaks up on you when you are least expected!

I prayed over her when she was little and vowed to the Lord that I would try really hard to have a good relationship with her. I was willing to do my part in helping us have a great relationship. I want to always show her love, support and to help guide her through those sticky years that all girls deal with. I want to help guide her to accept Jesus as her Savior and grow in her relationship with him. This last year has totally been a transition year. I say that for many reasons. Her body has been changing, her heart has been changing, her mind is changing, her moods are changing and I'm just trying to keep up without coming unglued.

This momma's heart wants to shelter her from the outside world. The one with shorts too short and tops to low and mid-drifts showing more than most bathing suits should. The one that tells her she's too fat and that she is not good enough. This momma's heart wants to help guard her heart from the hurt of broken promises from boys or girls who can't see her God given uniqueness. This momma's heart also knows that this isn't possible. This momma knows that I have to help her know that God desires His best for her and that by her obedience to Him is an everyday part of living.

Let me share with you a few helpful tips on navigating this journey with your Tween Girl.

1. Pray-Pray for your heart to be open to Holy Spirit's leading. Pray for wisdom as you communicate with her.
2. Seek out Wise Counsel- We were never meant to do life alone. Find someone who has walked this path before with success and ask for some mentoring in this area. What worked for them? What didn't? What would they change if they could go back?
3. Don't assume that your child understands what is happening to her body - These changes may happen sooner than you think. Be prepared to talk about them. Let them ask questions. Give them the tools and let them help pick them out. (deodorant,razors etc...)Talk to them about the hard stuff (you know what I'm talking about moms)and tell them the truth, God's design for them instead of letting the world give them its truth. The standards haven't changed even if we didn't live up to them.
4. Keep your eye on the goal - Relationships grow over time. Dedicated effort, time, and communication are all keys to running your best race.
5. Be your daughters #1 fan - She needs to hear from you how well she is doing. It is easy to fall into the trap of what they are doing wrong. Focus on saying something positive to her everyday. Place sticky notes on the bathroom mirror with encouraging scriptures or in her lunch box.

I love Psalm 78. It is a charge to make sure that we do not hide God's truth from our children. We must ensure we are always pointing them to Christ. Continually share with your child times when God showed up in a big way. Continue to set your Hope on Christ for He is light by which we can be guided as parents On The Journey of parenting tweens and teens!

Be blessed sweet friends!
Sherry

Day 3 - Great Resources for Parents of Teens & Tweens

As someone who rarely takes a break from technology and most recently finished up being a full time student for over two years, I find it hard to sift through the myriad of resources for parents who are transitioning from the toddler and young elementary years to those of T&T's. I'm not sure if for some reason no one wants to talk about these tricky years or somehow think it will go away and your child will somehow wake up at 18, ready and raring to be the ideal productive citizen with very little intervention from you.

I thought I would share the highlight reel of my favorite go to resources for parenting a tween and teenager.

The Bible! Yes, this is my go to parenting guidebook. When I feel defeated or need guidance, His word speaks clearer than anything about raising children. Seeking wisdom is paramount. Provers 4:1-9 speaks of seeking wisdom, teaching our children to seek wisdom and encourage the next generation to seek God's wisdom above all else.

A great book out this year by Ken Blanchard, Phil Hodges and Tricia Goyer called Lead Your Family Like Jesus is a great book. I have Blanchard/Hodges Lead Like Jesus leadership book and is a constant resource for me.



Focus on the Family
If you don't already know about this FREE site full of FREE resources, you are missing out. I go to it for marriage, parenting, kids and all sorts of fun and exciting material. They offer a free magazine called Thriving Family that you can also get in digital form.




Plugged In
This media review section of Focus on the Family constantly has updates for the latest movies, TV, books, video games and much more. They are definitely worth checking out!



These are just a few of my favorites. I hope you check them out. I'll try to share more throughout the 31 Day's Journey of Parenting Tweens & Teens!

Are there any resources you could share with me? I'd love to hear from you!

Sherry

Day 2 Straightening the Arrows

Day 2 - 31 Day Journey of Parenting Tweens and Teens





Life goes along, things seem to be on track, and then BAM! It happens. Out of the blue, when you least expect it. When you aren't looking for it. When you aren't ready for it. This IT I'm talking about is lying.

Lies keep the truth hidden. Lies separate us from God's best. Lies create cracks in the parent-child foundation. How do we help develop Godly character in our children, especially when it comes to lying?

When I've caught my children either by omission or by out-right lying it is like a dagger through the heart. I feel so hurt and disrespected, but mostly hurt. Oh my! These moments with my children often turn into more of a heart lesson for me than for my child. See, we are no different than our children. I believe Jesus feels the same way when we hold back and lie to him. He knows our heart! Nothing is hidden from Him!

Proverbs 25:18, " Telling lies [about others] is as harmful as hitting them with an ax,
wounding them with a sword, or shooting them with a sharp arrow.

Oh, how I felt like a sharp arrow had pierced my heart! Where did this come from? Why was this happening? What am I supposed to do now? In the heat of the moment it is hard to keep your cool. I'll admit throughout some of these conversations when lying is involved, my voice can get loud. There are times when you will need to table the discussion for later; either for times sake or other demands. Usually, these things happen right before everyone has to leave for school or work, or even late in the evening when the day should be over. Often, this is probably a good idea. When you can step back, take a breather, usually cooler heads prevail.

I learned this with our oldest son. Whatever the issue is, if your child is getting angry, and you are too...stop and focus on YOUR behavior, not your child's. Are you escalating the situation? As parents we often focus on being RIGHT versus TEACHING and helping them see our heart and also God's heart about the situation. When I can keep calm, the situation often goes much smoother...for all involved!

Let's set up a good road-map for this journey.

1. Work on your relationship with your own Heavenly Father! Set your GPS to follow Jesus every day! For it is through this relationship with the one who created you that will provide whatever you need to be the parent for the child he has given you. These children were HIS first. Everyday obedience and reliance on Christ Jesus is essential for being a good parent.

2. Pray for any hidden things to be revealed. 1 Corinthians 2:10, "But God has revealed it to us by His spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God." (NIV). Search your heart and ask God to reveal anything that may be happening with your child. We don't have privacy in our house. Phones, vehicles, and bedrooms, are all subject to short-notice inspections. You'll know if something is up, and then ACT on it.

3. Check your ego at the door. This isn't about winning. This is an opportunity for them to see your heart. It is a chance for you to direct them right back to God. Proverbs 2:1-5, "My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God." (NIV) If you catch yourself heading down the road of ANGRY VOICES and POUNDING FIST, stop! Take some time and then come back to the table and address the issue. If you do deal with it in the moment, keep it to the point at hand. Don't bring up something unrelated. Deal with the issue at hand and don't get sidetracked. Talk about God's best and how lying can be a slippery slope for other sin to creep in. Don't use, I don't want you to lie...say God has rules for us and they are good. To be more Christ-like we must follow and obey his commandments and boundaries for our life. Consequences can be figured out later.

4. Communicate EVERYDAY! No matter what is going on in our busy lives, find a way to connect with your teen/tween every day. I know it is hard between school, sports, homework, dinner, errands, dr. appointments, events and everything else in between, but JUST DO IT! A little conversation goes a long way in discovering where and what your child is thinking on. Just as my husband and I need a daily download, your kids do too! I find the car is a great place running between activities.


There will be bumps in this road with your tween and teenager but take heart! God has given you everything you need to be the parent you need to be to the children He has given you! Isn't that great! Ecclesiastes 3:9-11 says, "What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time." (NIV) We don't always get to see the fruit of our labor during these years, and often it feels like we are truly toiling away with no results. Keep up the good work parents! We are helping to straighten the arrow so we can send them out into the world and make a difference for the kingdom of God! Psalm 127:4.

Blessings sweet friends! I'd love to hear how you handle the tough issues like lying in your house? Good or bad?

Sherry

For more 31 Day'ers check out The Nester.

Welcome to the 31 Day Journey of Parenting Tweens & Teens

Thanks for sharing in my 31 Day Journey of Parenting Tweens and Teens.

For Day 1 scroll down to see!

Here I'll link to each day so you can pop over when they go live!

Day 2 - Straightening Arrows
Day 3 - Resources for Parents of T&T's
Day 4 - A Tween Girl & A Momma's Heart
Day 5 - Weekend Break - Marching Band, Raider Competitions, and all sorts of family stuff!
Day 6 - Weekend Break - Getting those household stuff, cooking, grocery shopping completed! Yes, it had to be done!
Day 7 - Monday Break
Day 8 - Tuesday Break
Day 9 - Getting a Glimpse
Day 10 - Dealing with a picky Eater
Day 11 - Creating an Appetite for Discipline
Day 12 - Creating Margin
Day 13 - Weekend Break
Day 14 - Standing Firm
Day15-21 - Illness struck the Boswell family! Yuck..finally recovering! Thanks for your understanding!

Day 21 - How 2Build Stronger Marriages for our Kids


DAY 1

Here we go!
31 Day Journey of Parenting Tweens and Teens!

Your Parent Card

I really thought it would be great to share about the season of life that I'm in right now. Smack dab in the middle of parenting a Teenager and a Tween-ager or Tween-er (if there is such a word, my spell check doesn't like it). I'll caveat this with the fact that we have one out of the nest who is married and they have a sweet little girl of their own. We are a blended family, two boys first and then a girl. They are all about seven years apart and I haven't yet figured out if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Here is just a few things I've learned:

1. Parenting is hard work.
2. Nobody tells you how hard it will be.
3. Parenting is hard work.
4. You don't have to dread these years.
5. Parenting is hard work.

If you are anywhere on the parenting spectrum, I'm sure by now you have figured out 1, 3, and 5. I hope that you will journey along with me as I share how parenting has changed me in ways I have yet to fully grasp. It is only by the GRACE of GOD that I can journey into these areas with my children with confidence.

I'll share some helpful resources, and journey through some helpful ideas. I was sharing with a friend whose children are much younger and told me she wasn't ready for this season. I replied, "Neither am I!" I don't know if you're ever ready, it just sort of sneaks up on you and you face it day by day. Puberty, relationships, school, sports, sharing what God's best for their life might look like and the most important, and I say this with a conviction from the very deepest part of my soul, that Jesus becomes so real to them they, without a shadow of a doubt realize the call on their life and decide to wholeheartedly follow Jesus. The other stuff, is just icing on the cake!

It's called the PARENT CARD. From here on out, each of you, are getting your Parent Card back. If you are in a space or place where you feel defeated, run over by the culture of our world, fear not! It is ok to be the parent. Do not be their friend. You'll have plenty of time for that later. They need a parent TODAY! We must equip and prepare ourselves for this journey.

2 Timothy 3:16-17, "All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work." (NLT)

I'm so excited to share with you some hard stuff and some great stuff! Come along for the journey and I would love to hear where you are in your season of parenting!

Sherry

For more blogs check out The Nester.

I Heart Discipine? Really?

I came across this sticker--and truly laughed! Are you serious---I don't love discipline. It is hard to get, hard to learn, hard to keep, hard, harD, haRD, hARD, HARD!

One of the themes that God keeps bringing me back to is Discipline. Becoming a woman of discipline seems to filter through whatever I'm reading, whomever I'm chatting with and what I seem to be studying. It causes the goose-pimples on my arm to come to attention....it seems to be everywhere. Do you find this word constantly creeping into your world?

God loves us so much and desires full devotion in every area. When we are truly real with ourselves, you know, in those moments that God is speaking right to the very core of your being, we realize just how much we are lacking discipline in our lives.

Let's break it down into a few areas.

Time: Do you take advantage of your time? Do you use it or waste it?

Money: Do you use the resources God has given you to the fullest? Do you use it wisely or spend foolishly?

Relationships: Are you intentional with those persons God has placed in your path? Do you lower your relationship walls in order to let others in? Do you seek God daily-investing in the most important relationship of all?

Physical: Do you pay attention to what you put into your body? Do you fully realize it is a temple given unto us from our Creator? Do we take care our health or do we foolishly think our good health is everlasting?

Discipline is hard. Anything worth having is hard. The more I study and follow Christ-the more I understand that apart from Christ-I am nothing-I can do nothing-I can't have discipline without HIM!

Amazingly-I don't have to be. I know that with Christ--I can be disciplined in all these areas. I can ask for His help and I can continue to lean upon His guidance in all these areas.

Daily, I am dying to my flesh; who wants to keep me from being disciplined. Daily, I remind myself that God is bigger than my flesh. Daily, I can call upon the Lord for his mercy and grace.

Make them holy by your truth; teach them your word, which is truth. Just as you sent me into the world, I am sending them into the world. And I give myself as a holy sacrifice for them so they can be made holy by your truth.

“I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me. (John 17:17-21,NIV)

Jesus knows that discipline is good for us. Is there an area of your life that you have failed to let God have, because you know He will ask you to be more disciplined in this area? I do. I struggle...then I beat myself up over it.

Today is a new day. Keep God the focus, pray about these areas and ask God to show you how to be more disciplined.

Be blessed-Less Stressed-and repeat after me---I heart Discipline!

Caramel Apple Ice Cream Topping

Yes, can we all agree its time for Fall? Yes fall with a capital F! You can't walk into any store these days without being overwhelmed with Christmas decor already on the shelves. Yikes! So, with that I feel it is perfectly within my rights to begin all the Fall Activities! Although in Florida, you have to look a little closer, dig a little deeper and Google a little more to find Fall things to do. I myself love a good hayride, apple picking and looking around for a good place to pick some pumpkins. I love sitting on my back porch in the mornings with my pumpkin coffee laced with pumpkin spiced creamer. In the evenings, I'm always looking for a quick dessert. And when I mean quick, I mean, "I am hungry for something a little sweet and won't totally make a mess in the kitchen." In addition, something that won't totally wreck my healthy eating streak...you know the one that we are all in. wink...wink...

Here is my favorite way to whip up a dessert in a hurry. Chances are you have everything right now in your pantry to head right to your kitchen and make a batch. Believe me, the oohs and ahhhs from the family are worth every bit of the trouble! Ok, you get to eat some too!

Here is what you'll need
3-4 Granny Smith Apples
1 Cup Brown Sugar
3 Tbsp Butter
1 tsp cinnamon
2 Tbs Fresh squeezed lemon juice (optional, but I think it really adds a little zip and freshness to the dish)
Vanilla Frozen Yogurt (or your favorite vanilla ice cream)

Start with washing and peeling the granny smith apples and cutting into small slices. While you are slicing, get a pan ready on the stove under medium heat. Slide the butter and brown sugar into the pan and allow to melt just a little. Add in the apples and cinnamon. Continue stirring while mixture comes to a full boil. This will only take about 3-5 minutes. You will start to see the apples soften and the caramel mixture turn a little dark amber to brown. Squeeze the lemon juice at this point and turn off the heat.

Scoop up a few pretty scoops of low-fat frozen yogurt (my favorite is from Publix) and place in a pretty bowl or cup. Pour hot apple mixture over the apples and ooh la la, you have yourself one tasty and quick dessert. I literally took this into the hubbster and he thoroughly enjoyed every last bite and even went back for seconds. This was a great way to end a hectic evening while dreaming of the upcoming Fall season. Oh how I love me some Fall..and apples...and pumpkin...and leaves...and pumpkin....and apples....yum yum!

I'd love to hear about how this turned out for you, or share a quick dessert in the comments below. Don't forget to head over to Facebook and give my page a like! Thanks sweet friends!! Enjoy!

Caramel Apple Ice Cream Topping

Easy Pumpkin Craft for Fall

I came across these fun pumpkins that the kids and I crafted a few years back and wanted to share them again. How fun! I'm always looking for ways to make the pumpkins last longer without cutting into them. This is a great way to make that happen and get the kids involved. Bonus: It won't make a huge mess! This is a great way to get started early and place these out on your front entrance with some other Fall goodies!

I bought Felt that had adhesive on the back. I used bamboo skewers to stick the felt to for the spiders legs. As you can see, the combination is endless. Cut out your design and if you have a white or silver marker you can make dotted lines on the felt. This is a super easy craft to do with your children after you go to the pumpkin patch!

Items needed
Pumpkins
1-black felt with adhesive
1-white felt with adhesive
2-10 bamboo skewers
1 white tipped paint pen
1 silver tipped paint pen

Cut your pattern out of regular printer paper and then place on felt. This allows you to make adjustments on your pumpkin before you begin cutting the felt. Don't ask me how I know this...but trust me! Place the pattern on the pumpkins to make sure you have the right dimensions. Then, cut out your pattern. Make any lines or drawings with your paint pen and let dry. For those parts that need skewers, cut double. You will stick the two parts together placing the skewer between the felt. I made spider legs and the pirates hat with the skewers. Once the parts are all cut, start to stick your pattern pieces on the pumpkin. Then add the skewers, carefully pushing deep into the pumpkin. Stand back in awe of your creation and be sure to post a picture for all to see! Your options are endless! Have fun!

I might be pushing the Fall button a little too soon, but I love getting into all things PUMPKIN!!


Previous post!

 We actually got these done on Halloween Day.  Kennedy helped me cut the felt and helped stick them on the pumpkins.  These aren't your ordinary pumpkins, I might add.  They came all the way from my dad's first ever pumpkin patch in Missouri.  They were able to visit the week prior to Halloween and we had a grand time at Disney.  I thought they turned out great and it was much less messier then cutting them open.  It was also cheaper than the PB version online. 

Pumpkin Banana Paleo Muffins

I do love trying new recipes, especially when I realize I have everything in the pantry for said recipe! I found this awesome muffin recipe and because I have a few friends who are gluten free and I'm sorta lactose intolerant, this muffin satisfies both. I also always look for easy muffins to throw together when the Girls come over for Coffee and Conversation! This one really tasted great and with Fall hopefully on its way...its all about the PUMPKIN baby!!! Off we go!

I gathered all the necessary ingredients. Although, you see applesauce in the picture, I didn't end up using it. The recipe was sweet enough with honey and stevia.

I mixed all the dry ingredients first, just to get out any lumps and then started in with the wet items.

Once mixed, scoop into a lightly greased muffin tin and top with chopped almonds or walnuts (your choice).

 

Bake for about 20-25 min in a 350 degree oven and Boom!

They looked wet at first, but these are a very moist muffin with good texture, for a mix that uses only almond flour.

These are definitely going on the "What to make when the Girls come over for coffee" mornings!

 

Pumpkin Banana Paleo Muffins

(adapted from fitcupcaker.com)

• 1 cup almond flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1/8 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 2 eggs
• 3/4 cup pumpkin
• 1 mashed banana
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 Tbsp honey
• 1/2 tsp stevia (I used 2 small packs)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix all dry ingredients together in a bowl with a whisk. Place all wet ingredients into the dry and mix gently until combined. Spray muffin tins and use a regular scoop to fill each individual muffins. Top with chopped almonds or walnuts. Bake for 20-25 minutes. Enjoy!

 

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Unexpected Journeys

 

Have you ever set out on a trip, a spontaneous or even well-planned out vacation, only to have it end up looking nothing like what you had in mind? Let me tell you about my Unexpected Journey.

I once was on a shopping trip while stationed in Germany. I had planned an overnight trip (on a bus) with a friend to shop for pottery in Poland and also the Czech Republic. It was our first time setting out on an adventure like this, but the other ladies on the bus were seasoned veterans and knew the exact shops they wanted to visit. We had arrived early in the morning to the pottery shops and made our way through several before continuing to the Czech Republic. We were dropped off at the bus stop in front of a busy market square. We were told to make sure we arrive back here an hour before departure time, hop on the white bus which will take us back to the parking lot where our coach bus would be waiting to take us back to Germany.

My friend and I were so enamored with the little shops and sights all along the cobblestone streets. We exchanged our US dollars and went to town...so to speak. As the afternoon sun began to fade we realized we needed to make our way back to the bus. As instructed we went back to the market square bus stop and hopped on the white bus. We settled in to our seats and waited patiently for the parking lot to appear. As we chatted about our day, it became extremely clear we were heading out of the city and not to the bus parking lot. Our hearts began to beat faster and faster. Here we were, two American women, in the Czech Republic, heading away from the city and away from our ticket back to Germany. Then it happened! The bus driver suddenly stopped the bus, yelled at us to get off and then drove away. Let me remind you that this happened in 1998, well before the cell phone revolution, before twitter feeds and Facebook status-ma-thingys updates and insta-me-grams! Back home in Missouri, we would say, "Looks like we got ourselves into a sticky as sorghum molasses mess!"

Yes, we were left standing on the sidewalk of a strange town. Yes, we were in a foreign country with no help in sight. Both of us were thinking the same thing, "The bus is going to leave us here if we don't make it back by departure time." The bus driver even said he has left people behind for being late. How are we going to get back to Germany? How are we going to get back to our families? I remember starting to pray under my breath....Lord, please help us, Lord, please help us.

In the distance, we could see another bus heading our way and back in the direction of town. The bus driver thankfully allowed us to get on and head back into town. Seeing a local policeman, we did as any good American would do, we tried asking for assistance. To no avail he couldn't understand our English. (I had yet to learn German, much less whatever language they were speaking in the Czech Republic, Geez Louise people). By this time we knew that the bus had probably left. It seemed like one obstacle after another and we were beginning to lose hope. Just then a few Americans happened to overhear our cry for help and directed us to the RIGHT WHITE BUS that would lead us to the parking lot. Hallelujah Praise The Lord!!!!!

What do you think happened once we arrived at the bus parking lot? You guessed it, the bus was gone. Just kidding! The bus was actually still there. Can YOU BELIEVE IT???? All of the passengers had decided to wait for us (over two hours). Although I was overjoyed to see the bus still waiting, I dreaded facing the women inside. What would they think? How do we explain this? We felt just awful! I took a deep breath and walked onto the bus and down the aisle to our seats. The women were actually very understanding and were happy we were ok. Scared and a little shaken up from the whole ordeal, I remember praying on the ride home.

"Lord, thank you for this unexpected journey. Thank you for your protection, your provision and your wisdom. Thank you for the hearts of these women who were willing to wait for us. Thank you for the kindness of strangers in a foreign land. Thank you for a spirit of adventure, because without it, I wouldn't have the courage to share The Gospel with others. And thank you for never abandoning us and always being ever present on this journey! Amen!"

Be encouraged, sweet friend because Unexpected Journeys are often the best, and the views are amazing!

Isaiah 43:2 says, "When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am The Lord, you God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. Others died that you might live. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you" (NLT).

What unexpected journey are you on today?

Is it taking you outside your comfort zone?

Invite the Lord to go with you, he will guide and protect you, every step of the Journey!

 

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A Yield Sign

Jesus is our Savior, but when did He become Lord of your Life? There is a difference. Romans 14:9 tells us, "For Christ died and lived again for this, that he might be LORD both of the dead and the living!"

My moment came in my early twenties when LIFE was going down a path I didn't want to travel. I didn't need Him to save me at this point, but I needed to let Him become the LORD over my LIFE and begin to access all of those areas in my heart that I hid from Him. Matter of fact, when I lived in the dorm while stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my door was less than a few hundred feet from the nearest base chapel. I never stopped in, not once. It took the witness of some neighbors a year later who would lead me back to church and to the Lord. I finally saw the YIELD sign!!

Friend, are you struggling in an area of your LIFE that you haven't allowed Jesus to become LORD over? What are you waiting for? Let Jesus become the MASTER, the ultimate CAPTAIN and allow HIM to GUIDE the ship On The Journey! Let's learn to YIELD to the LORDSHIP and HEADSHIP of Christ in our lives and in our HEARTS!

Please take a moment to comment below! Thanks for stopping by, OTJWC!

Sherry

Freshly Brewed

Isn't it amazing how good a fresh cup of coffee smells? The sweet aroma wafts from the pretty cup picked out especially for today! You feel a wave of joy and peace rush across your body and you breathe in deeply.....wait for it....this is right when you realize that you forgot to make the kids lunches, take the dog outside, wake the kids up and forgot to put the clothes from the washer that you thought you would remember before you went to bed in the dryer!!!! I'm sure this never happens to you. But as I'm settling in to the school routine again I find myself somewhat aloof to all those details I need to remember.

If you are even a little like me and might start to go down the road of condemnation and a little bit of guilt creeps into your heart, take those thoughts captive and remind yourself of God's promises. In Lamentations 3:22-24, we are reminded God's love never ends, and his mercies never cease! His mercies begin afresh every morning....just like your freshly brewed cup of coffee. Each day, through Jesus Christ we are being made new. (Shout in your best southern gospel voice, Hallelujah, thank you Jesus!!)

You are so precious, sweet friend. I love how The Message translates Isaiah 43:1-4, "Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end, because I am your personal God...I paid a huge price for you...I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, I'd trade the creation for you!"

I'm so glad I get a new start each day! There are so many days in which I feel like I need a do-over! Do you? I found this saying from Robert Lewis Stevenson recently and I recite it on those do-over days....Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant!

Now, go plant some seeds, I'll be over here making another Freshly Brewed cup of coffee!

I'd love to hear how you start your days and any tips you have to keep your family running smoothly!!

Sherry

 

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Am I Qualified??

I'm testing out a new blog posting format today and thought I would share what I did this past weekend. My daughter K and I attended a unique event called Capture Her Heart. It was for mothers and daughters 7-12 years old. It was an amazing opportunity to begin praying with my daughter and to start this journey with her on a Biblical foundation. I prayed over her when she was a tiny baby to do my part to have an amazing relationship with her as she grows older. As we face the tween/teen years I am feeling unequipped to tackle what lies ahead. Having two boys first seemed to be easier to deal with than the drama that my daughter constantly engages in lately. Any moms out there who can relate?? We all have a past, a story we could tell about our own childhood and those not so good relationship missteps. I want things to be different for her and I. How do I ensure we can build a strong mother-daughter bond? It is through the Holy Spirit working in both of us. I'm thankful that she chose Jesus as her personal savior earlier this year. Nothing, and I mean nothing of this world can compare to seeing your children choose Jesus. But it doesn't stop there!

As a mom I need to step up and do my part. I need to remember that it isn't about being right, but about capturing her heart and helping her see Gods design for her life. It means working on my journey with Christ and allowing him to work through me. Humbling myself to him shows me how to humble myself before my children too. Helping her to see Jesus working behind the scenes of her life is as important as any school homework assignment. The question in my head is, "Am I really qualified for this!" On most days my answer is no. Then I think of the nearest room I can go to and shut the door and never come out! Oh, dear parent, be encouraged today that we can look to the perfect parent for wisdom and direction.

Remember this dear friend, "By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. For no one can lay a foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, or costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire and the fire will test the quality of each mans work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. It it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping from the flames." (1 Corinthians 3:10-15)

Lets continue to build on God's foundation as parents. Let Jesus capture their heart first! This journey was never meant to be easy, but we can do life together. Let us encourage each other as parents and build an amazing relationship with our children!!

 

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