Friday, May 23, 2014
Close-Five Minute Friday Writing
I'm posting for the first time over at LisaJo Bakers Five Minute Friday.
He is not close anymore. The boy who laughed his way through childhood with a spirit that could only be described as joy. The boy who couldn't say his r's. The boy who grew too slowly for him but to quickly for me into manhood. The boy who grew into an healthy reminder of my father in his younger years can still bring me to tears. Tears I don't let him see. The boy who searches for his place in the world and too quickly rushes through high school longing for it to be over. I tell him, "Don't rush into adulthood, you have a whole lifetime to be an adult!"
The boy who has musical talent like his father and still amazes me on the piano and drums. His desires to enter the world on his own outweighs his desire to keep a clean room or spend time with us. Intentionally I tell myself this is normal. For those moments of closeness come and go as quickly as the rushing of a summer sea breeze. But do they really? I think the closeness of my toddler boy who climbed into my lap oh so long ago still has a close hold on my heart as he transitions into adulthood. It will never leave. It will never fade. Much like our Heavenly Fathers love for us.
I still see glimmers of close in the wink of his smile. My heart leaps for a moment then reality reminds me that he will one day leave. I know this is normal. The longing for my child to stay close is heavy. The feelings are very real, almost choking. The questions swirl in my head, "Have we given him the tools to be successful?", "Will he make good choices?", "Will he follow God with all his heart?" The Bible tell us that we are to train up these children so they can go into the world and make a difference for the kingdom. The go part is hard. The transition is hard. But it is worth it. I place my trust back into the arms of my Savior who created this amazing boy. He gave me the great privilege of being his mom. Close is where my heart wants to be but must be satisfied with seeing my son grow into the man God has created him to be!
Thanks for stopping by!