Day 14 - Standing Firm

Have you ever tried to discipline your child and they couldn't keep a serious face? My middle son has been this way his whole life. He has been a child that didn't need harsh punishment because a stern word and the efforts of the 1, 2, 3, spank rule was all that was needed. Even when he was getting in trouble, more often than not he couldn't keep a straight face. I don't necessarily believe he was doing this intentionally, but his sweet body, just couldn't help it. What about when your child does something cute, but yet its not good behavior, or let's just say not the kind they should be exhibiting on a regular basis. We've all been there as parents. It's logical when they are younger to instill a healthy fear of consequences for inappropriate behavior. Most of the time this behavior is more social; for instance, bad manners, reacting poorly to a situation, or having an attitude when told no. As your child becomes an adolescent, all of a sudden the rules of the game change. How are we to handle our tween and teenagers poor behavior or decision making? Especially now, when they have thoughts all their own and aren't afraid to tell you all about them!

As Christ-follower we are being constantly being molded. The rough edges of our old self are being chipped away to make room for a more holy being. In the same way, we have been given a great privilege to mold and chip at our children, in order for them to realize the call on their life. We can't waiver in our calling as parents. If you struggle with implementing rules and consequences I want to encourage you from God's word.



Here are some areas we need to stand firm:

1. Social Media: Too often this is a place our children can get into EASY TROUBLE! If you put your head in the sand and say, "They're going to do it anyway!" I urge you to take a look at some startling stats:

This is a link that our church Calvary Chapel put together a few months back. Click HERE to see links to how you can protect your internet and stats on social media.

This link is to Josh McDowell ministry Just1Clickaway.org

Know the passwords to your tween or teens accounts, and make it a priority to check their phone, computer, and rooms regularly. Yep, you guessed it, there is no privacy when you live in my house. I hope that this mindset sticks with my children and they become proactive parents too! You are your child's best advocate!

2. Television: Stay alert and on guard. Not only for our children's sake but for ours too! I can easily catch myself watching a not-so-great program and get sucked into its storyline. Our world lets demons, zombies and a crazy amount of ungodly images, sitcoms, movies and reality shows into our homes everyday; and we allow it. These images are not healthy for our tweens and teens. Take a stand and demand better standards in your home and communicate them to your children. Pay attention to what they are watching, keep television out of their rooms. I know some parents who declared the entrance to each of their kids bedrooms as technology-free zones! I like it!!

Here are some places where you can find reviews on movies, t.v. and everything in between:

Plugged In
Plugged In is a Focus on the Family publication designed to shine a light on the world of popular entertainment while giving families the essential tools they need to understand, navigate and impact the culture in which they live. Through our reviews, articles and discussions, we hope to spark intellectual thought, spiritual growth and a desire to follow the command of Colossians 2:8: "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ."

Each month, Plugged In is visited more than 1 million times by people looking for detailed information about what's really in popular movies, videos, TV episodes, songs and games. Entertainment industry ratings only tell you so much. We go deeper, diving into specific content and the meaning behind it. Our award-winning website also offers news (Culture Clips), polls, blogs, podcasts and hands-on parenting tools (Family Room).



3. Stay ENGAGED with your tween and teen and TALK about ALL these things! Do not let the world get to them first. We need to show them God's perspective on these subjects and how to protect themselves. Parents, we must give them the tools and pray for God to pour the Holy Spirit into them so that they may have the strength to STAND FIRM!


Parents, WE WILL NOT BE MOVED! I'm praying for each of you as you are traveling this journey. Partner up with other Godly parents and seek wise counsel in all things. Stay encouraged on this 31 Day Journey of Parenting Tweens & Teens!

Day 12 - Creating Margin

Today we are talking about margin! Not the space around that 8x11 piece of paper but creating margin in your life and your tween and teen. What does this look like? How can we do this? I often think that the one good thing I'm passing onto my children is how to be busy. I mean I've probably been the best example of being busy. Parents, we need to create margin in our lives in order to achieve balance. When our tanks are running on reserve we don't have any left over to parent successfully or be generous to others. You can't live your best life in the negative.

I share how my son and I had an opportunity to create margin and make some tough choices about his schedule. There will be times when you will have to say no to even really good opportunities. Fear not parents! God is right beside us guiding us. In addition to the scripture shared in this video, here are some others to encourage you today on your parenting journey!

Matthew 6:34
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Proverbs 11:1 The Lord abhors dishonest scales, but an accurate weight is his delight.

Isaiah 40:12
Who else has held the oceans in his hand? Who has measured off the heavens with his fingers?
Who else knows the weight of the earth or has weighed the mountains and hills on a scale?

Genesis 2:2-3
And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.


Creating margin






Be Blessed sweet friends as you continue to Parent you Tween and Teen!

Sherry

Day 10 Tips for Dealing with a Picky Eater

You might think I'm talking about a toddler. But I'm actually talking about your teenager! Click on the youtube video below and see my helpful tips for dealing with your picky eater. This is my first video blog or vlog as they call it in the blogging world. Love to hear what you think!





Be blessed sweet friends and continue to check back for more 31 Day Journey of Parenting Tweens & Teens!

Sherry

Getting a Glimpse

I interrupt my 31 Day blogging to bring you a great post by a fellow blogger I've followed for several years. Her 31 Day journey is about being a Mentoring Mom. Today, I totally felt her post! I felt I was being mentored and totally needed to hear this. I just had to share it as my 31 Day Journey of Tweens & Teens is moving right along! Plus, it was right on topic!

This post reminded me that I do want to be FRONT AND CENTER for my son as he moves into manhood. I'm not giving up or giving in and am grateful to watch his heart follow Jesus and become the future makings of a great husband, provider, and father one day. To get a glimpse of his heart along the journey is such a privilege that I won't soon forget! Even the hard days, the wrong choices, and the mistakes all give me a glimpse in how God is shaping and molding him to become a strong and mighty force for the kingdom!


Whether you have a teen right now or just young boys, I hope you pop over to this post and read. It is a great reminder that we are all on a journey! We've been given such an amazing task as a mother! Don't give up, and be the mom they need!


Balancing Beauty and Bedlam Terrible Teens, I beg to differ.

Oh sweet friends, it truly doesn't have to be the terrible teens! God offers us so much more than terrible! Seeking His leading during these transition years is so important. God truly has given you everything you need to fulfill this parenting role. Just trust in His guidance and keep pursuing His wisdom!

Blessings!
Sherry

Continue to follow all the 31 Day post HERE! and at The Nester.

Day 3 - Great Resources for Parents of Teens & Tweens

As someone who rarely takes a break from technology and most recently finished up being a full time student for over two years, I find it hard to sift through the myriad of resources for parents who are transitioning from the toddler and young elementary years to those of T&T's. I'm not sure if for some reason no one wants to talk about these tricky years or somehow think it will go away and your child will somehow wake up at 18, ready and raring to be the ideal productive citizen with very little intervention from you.

I thought I would share the highlight reel of my favorite go to resources for parenting a tween and teenager.

The Bible! Yes, this is my go to parenting guidebook. When I feel defeated or need guidance, His word speaks clearer than anything about raising children. Seeking wisdom is paramount. Provers 4:1-9 speaks of seeking wisdom, teaching our children to seek wisdom and encourage the next generation to seek God's wisdom above all else.

A great book out this year by Ken Blanchard, Phil Hodges and Tricia Goyer called Lead Your Family Like Jesus is a great book. I have Blanchard/Hodges Lead Like Jesus leadership book and is a constant resource for me.



Focus on the Family
If you don't already know about this FREE site full of FREE resources, you are missing out. I go to it for marriage, parenting, kids and all sorts of fun and exciting material. They offer a free magazine called Thriving Family that you can also get in digital form.




Plugged In
This media review section of Focus on the Family constantly has updates for the latest movies, TV, books, video games and much more. They are definitely worth checking out!



These are just a few of my favorites. I hope you check them out. I'll try to share more throughout the 31 Day's Journey of Parenting Tweens & Teens!

Are there any resources you could share with me? I'd love to hear from you!

Sherry

Day 2 Straightening the Arrows

Day 2 - 31 Day Journey of Parenting Tweens and Teens





Life goes along, things seem to be on track, and then BAM! It happens. Out of the blue, when you least expect it. When you aren't looking for it. When you aren't ready for it. This IT I'm talking about is lying.

Lies keep the truth hidden. Lies separate us from God's best. Lies create cracks in the parent-child foundation. How do we help develop Godly character in our children, especially when it comes to lying?

When I've caught my children either by omission or by out-right lying it is like a dagger through the heart. I feel so hurt and disrespected, but mostly hurt. Oh my! These moments with my children often turn into more of a heart lesson for me than for my child. See, we are no different than our children. I believe Jesus feels the same way when we hold back and lie to him. He knows our heart! Nothing is hidden from Him!

Proverbs 25:18, " Telling lies [about others] is as harmful as hitting them with an ax,
wounding them with a sword, or shooting them with a sharp arrow.

Oh, how I felt like a sharp arrow had pierced my heart! Where did this come from? Why was this happening? What am I supposed to do now? In the heat of the moment it is hard to keep your cool. I'll admit throughout some of these conversations when lying is involved, my voice can get loud. There are times when you will need to table the discussion for later; either for times sake or other demands. Usually, these things happen right before everyone has to leave for school or work, or even late in the evening when the day should be over. Often, this is probably a good idea. When you can step back, take a breather, usually cooler heads prevail.

I learned this with our oldest son. Whatever the issue is, if your child is getting angry, and you are too...stop and focus on YOUR behavior, not your child's. Are you escalating the situation? As parents we often focus on being RIGHT versus TEACHING and helping them see our heart and also God's heart about the situation. When I can keep calm, the situation often goes much smoother...for all involved!

Let's set up a good road-map for this journey.

1. Work on your relationship with your own Heavenly Father! Set your GPS to follow Jesus every day! For it is through this relationship with the one who created you that will provide whatever you need to be the parent for the child he has given you. These children were HIS first. Everyday obedience and reliance on Christ Jesus is essential for being a good parent.

2. Pray for any hidden things to be revealed. 1 Corinthians 2:10, "But God has revealed it to us by His spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God." (NIV). Search your heart and ask God to reveal anything that may be happening with your child. We don't have privacy in our house. Phones, vehicles, and bedrooms, are all subject to short-notice inspections. You'll know if something is up, and then ACT on it.

3. Check your ego at the door. This isn't about winning. This is an opportunity for them to see your heart. It is a chance for you to direct them right back to God. Proverbs 2:1-5, "My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God." (NIV) If you catch yourself heading down the road of ANGRY VOICES and POUNDING FIST, stop! Take some time and then come back to the table and address the issue. If you do deal with it in the moment, keep it to the point at hand. Don't bring up something unrelated. Deal with the issue at hand and don't get sidetracked. Talk about God's best and how lying can be a slippery slope for other sin to creep in. Don't use, I don't want you to lie...say God has rules for us and they are good. To be more Christ-like we must follow and obey his commandments and boundaries for our life. Consequences can be figured out later.

4. Communicate EVERYDAY! No matter what is going on in our busy lives, find a way to connect with your teen/tween every day. I know it is hard between school, sports, homework, dinner, errands, dr. appointments, events and everything else in between, but JUST DO IT! A little conversation goes a long way in discovering where and what your child is thinking on. Just as my husband and I need a daily download, your kids do too! I find the car is a great place running between activities.


There will be bumps in this road with your tween and teenager but take heart! God has given you everything you need to be the parent you need to be to the children He has given you! Isn't that great! Ecclesiastes 3:9-11 says, "What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time." (NIV) We don't always get to see the fruit of our labor during these years, and often it feels like we are truly toiling away with no results. Keep up the good work parents! We are helping to straighten the arrow so we can send them out into the world and make a difference for the kingdom of God! Psalm 127:4.

Blessings sweet friends! I'd love to hear how you handle the tough issues like lying in your house? Good or bad?

Sherry

For more 31 Day'ers check out The Nester.

Welcome to the 31 Day Journey of Parenting Tweens & Teens

Thanks for sharing in my 31 Day Journey of Parenting Tweens and Teens.

For Day 1 scroll down to see!

Here I'll link to each day so you can pop over when they go live!

Day 2 - Straightening Arrows
Day 3 - Resources for Parents of T&T's
Day 4 - A Tween Girl & A Momma's Heart
Day 5 - Weekend Break - Marching Band, Raider Competitions, and all sorts of family stuff!
Day 6 - Weekend Break - Getting those household stuff, cooking, grocery shopping completed! Yes, it had to be done!
Day 7 - Monday Break
Day 8 - Tuesday Break
Day 9 - Getting a Glimpse
Day 10 - Dealing with a picky Eater
Day 11 - Creating an Appetite for Discipline
Day 12 - Creating Margin
Day 13 - Weekend Break
Day 14 - Standing Firm
Day15-21 - Illness struck the Boswell family! Yuck..finally recovering! Thanks for your understanding!

Day 21 - How 2Build Stronger Marriages for our Kids


DAY 1

Here we go!
31 Day Journey of Parenting Tweens and Teens!

Your Parent Card

I really thought it would be great to share about the season of life that I'm in right now. Smack dab in the middle of parenting a Teenager and a Tween-ager or Tween-er (if there is such a word, my spell check doesn't like it). I'll caveat this with the fact that we have one out of the nest who is married and they have a sweet little girl of their own. We are a blended family, two boys first and then a girl. They are all about seven years apart and I haven't yet figured out if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Here is just a few things I've learned:

1. Parenting is hard work.
2. Nobody tells you how hard it will be.
3. Parenting is hard work.
4. You don't have to dread these years.
5. Parenting is hard work.

If you are anywhere on the parenting spectrum, I'm sure by now you have figured out 1, 3, and 5. I hope that you will journey along with me as I share how parenting has changed me in ways I have yet to fully grasp. It is only by the GRACE of GOD that I can journey into these areas with my children with confidence.

I'll share some helpful resources, and journey through some helpful ideas. I was sharing with a friend whose children are much younger and told me she wasn't ready for this season. I replied, "Neither am I!" I don't know if you're ever ready, it just sort of sneaks up on you and you face it day by day. Puberty, relationships, school, sports, sharing what God's best for their life might look like and the most important, and I say this with a conviction from the very deepest part of my soul, that Jesus becomes so real to them they, without a shadow of a doubt realize the call on their life and decide to wholeheartedly follow Jesus. The other stuff, is just icing on the cake!

It's called the PARENT CARD. From here on out, each of you, are getting your Parent Card back. If you are in a space or place where you feel defeated, run over by the culture of our world, fear not! It is ok to be the parent. Do not be their friend. You'll have plenty of time for that later. They need a parent TODAY! We must equip and prepare ourselves for this journey.

2 Timothy 3:16-17, "All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work." (NLT)

I'm so excited to share with you some hard stuff and some great stuff! Come along for the journey and I would love to hear where you are in your season of parenting!

Sherry

For more blogs check out The Nester.