Day 4 - A Tween Girl and a Momma's Heart

I can always remember always wanting to have a daughter. I was blessed with a bonus son when I met the love of my life CR. I became pregnant shortly after we were married and was blessed with another son. Oh the joys of having two boys! It's great, but in the back of my mind I still wanted a daughter. It was several years later, after a life lived overseas with my military husband before we decided to try again. I remember when we found out I was expecting, a little whisper of hope grew inside my heart and I dared to think it might be a girl. I was prepared to hear the words, "It's a boy!" from the doctor at the ultrasound visit. The visit that CR and I fought the entire way down to the office. I seriously thought he was ruining this moment for me. This would probably be the last child for us. As I lay on the table, waiting as the cold gel rubbed against my skin, both CR and I peering into the ultra-sound screen as if we knew what we were looking at, laid aside our argument and waited for the answer. Is it a boy or girl? It's a GIRL she said. Oh how my heart leaped at that very moment and I think a tear fell from my eye. I was so happy!

Fast forward and now that sweet, tiny girl who came into the world weighing exactly 8lbs is now almost taller than me. She wants to wear my shoes with heels (because her shoe size is the same as mine)and play dress-up and put makeup on. This is way too much for me to handle. She is a tween. That age when a girl becomes a young woman but not yet a teenager by definition. The age when hormones and body changes all happen at once and you almost forget that you actually gave birth to this unknown person looking back with you with her head tilted to the side and her hand placed firmly on her hip. It totally sneaks up on you when you are least expected!

I prayed over her when she was little and vowed to the Lord that I would try really hard to have a good relationship with her. I was willing to do my part in helping us have a great relationship. I want to always show her love, support and to help guide her through those sticky years that all girls deal with. I want to help guide her to accept Jesus as her Savior and grow in her relationship with him. This last year has totally been a transition year. I say that for many reasons. Her body has been changing, her heart has been changing, her mind is changing, her moods are changing and I'm just trying to keep up without coming unglued.

This momma's heart wants to shelter her from the outside world. The one with shorts too short and tops to low and mid-drifts showing more than most bathing suits should. The one that tells her she's too fat and that she is not good enough. This momma's heart wants to help guard her heart from the hurt of broken promises from boys or girls who can't see her God given uniqueness. This momma's heart also knows that this isn't possible. This momma knows that I have to help her know that God desires His best for her and that by her obedience to Him is an everyday part of living.

Let me share with you a few helpful tips on navigating this journey with your Tween Girl.

1. Pray-Pray for your heart to be open to Holy Spirit's leading. Pray for wisdom as you communicate with her.
2. Seek out Wise Counsel- We were never meant to do life alone. Find someone who has walked this path before with success and ask for some mentoring in this area. What worked for them? What didn't? What would they change if they could go back?
3. Don't assume that your child understands what is happening to her body - These changes may happen sooner than you think. Be prepared to talk about them. Let them ask questions. Give them the tools and let them help pick them out. (deodorant,razors etc...)Talk to them about the hard stuff (you know what I'm talking about moms)and tell them the truth, God's design for them instead of letting the world give them its truth. The standards haven't changed even if we didn't live up to them.
4. Keep your eye on the goal - Relationships grow over time. Dedicated effort, time, and communication are all keys to running your best race.
5. Be your daughters #1 fan - She needs to hear from you how well she is doing. It is easy to fall into the trap of what they are doing wrong. Focus on saying something positive to her everyday. Place sticky notes on the bathroom mirror with encouraging scriptures or in her lunch box.

I love Psalm 78. It is a charge to make sure that we do not hide God's truth from our children. We must ensure we are always pointing them to Christ. Continually share with your child times when God showed up in a big way. Continue to set your Hope on Christ for He is light by which we can be guided as parents On The Journey of parenting tweens and teens!

Be blessed sweet friends!
Sherry