Yes, it's been well over a month with no blogging. It's not because I haven't had lots to say, but I guess I haven't had the heart to write it down. I've been wrestling with all sorts of emotions. I've wondered if I should write about it, wondered if I could write about it, but hey I just can't not talk about it. It's me, I talk! However, it's been a sad, emotionally draining, overwhelming, flesh tearing couple of months. These tough times happen in life. If we have breath in our lungs, we'll have them.
John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
I've had hard times before, don't get me wrong. I have a book full of tough, hard, wrenching moments that have left me at my wits end. This has been different. Maybe it's because I've never been here with my Jesus. Despite the moments of spiritual warfare, questionable motives and public confrontations I've never felt closer to Him. You see being closer to my Jesus makes things different. Sometimes easy isn't the way we learn. Easy isn't the way we grow. It is in the moments that I squeezed my Jesus so hard, clinging to Him through this trial that I was able to see. I was able to grow. I was weak but made strong. It is when we can't see the next step that our Savior Jesus steps in. When we completely rely on Him, we are like clay in the potters hand. He love us so much not to leave us there.
I'm thankful for this trial because I have learned so much more about my Jesus. I'm so thankful that I listen to His voice when I wanted to respond in the wrong way. He is the only one who gives me strength, wisdom and courage to face whatever this world has for me. He has changed me, He is still changing me. I'm excited and super motivated to live my life on His mission, to reach a lost and dying world.
On the horizon....we are going on vacation! Well its a visit, wedding, vacation all wrapped up into one. Me and the kids are heading back to my hometown for a visit on the farm with my parents. We'll be there for about two weeks. We are heading back to celebrate my stepsons wedding! He is marrying the most awesome young lady! Kennedy is excited to be the flower girl! Lots of family are going to be able to attend,it's going to be such a great time! Then we are headed to TN to stay at a log cabin for a few days and experience Dollywood. We have wanted to do that everytime we drive back to MO. Then it's back home and then in July I get to chapparone our youth group to Youth Camp in north Georgia. It should be a lot of fun. God is so good, he has truly blessed us even through all of the tough times.
I'm hoping to blog more about our trip but I will be in the back woods of Missouri so I don't know if I'll have internet connection. lol.